First the unexpected marriage, now a baby! I guess we all have learned to expect the un-expected when it comes to the dynamic duo of Sean “Jay Z” Carter and Beyonce Knowles.


With so many accomplishments and accolades in the music industry, can Jay Z and B be the new face of today’s black family? Can they rise to top of the family hierarchy to be black America’s modern day Cliff and Clair Huxtable?

I guess my real question is why does this seem abnormal? While Jay Z and Beyonce aren’t doing anything new, it does seem a little foreign and old fashion in a society that says “do whatever you want to do as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone.” They are simply bringing back the family structures of black families. You do remember the black family structure… husband, wife and then children. Whatever happened to that? In today’s time, it is the mother raising the kids, doing the best she can to stay on track and pay the bills. Did you know that 71 percent of all African American children are born out of wedlock or to single mothers?  That’s a disturbing statistic.


It’s my belief that fixing this epidemic starts and ends with the men. The question is where are the men and why are some so afraid to man up and take back our black families?

But ladies, I can’t let you off the hook either. I have to ask, why are some women so afraid to let men step-up and be men? Could it be that some women (not all) are so caught up on the fact that they can buy their own cars, clothes, houses and raise and provide for their child that they push men away. Yes, black men have been prone to make babies and not stay around to raise them. They would rather pay child support than be the main influence for their children. But by all means, if the father wants to be a part of his child’s life don’t hurt him by keeping the child from him or using the child to get back with him.

But let’s get back to how we as a community can re-gain our family.

Start by getting back to the basics. If you are single and don’t have children, make a commitment to doing it God’s way—marriage then family. Marriage and a family isn’t something that you want to haphazardly stumble into. It’s a step that you want to make sure that you are financially, emotionally and spiritually prepared to make.

If you already have a spouse and child(ren) schedule family time at least once a week. Cut the television off, put the phones on vibrate, and focus on what is really important— FAMILY! Talk, play games, or take walks in the park as a family. Whatever you do make time for family. If it’s a situation were the mother and father are not together, work out a visitation agreement that allows for opportunities to spend the time that is needed.

The next suggestion that I offer is more mental plus action: make a decision that family is important and commit to doing whatever it takes to ensure that it stays in tact and is healthy. Lastly, communicate. Never be afraid to expressing how much you love and value one another. If you have a hard time expressing yourself verbally, write it out. Regaining our families isn’t going to be an easy task, but it starts within the mind and then acted out in the body. Remember, it takes practice to become excellent at what you love.

In closing let’s take Jay-z and Beyonce model of first career, marriage, babies, and living life to the fullest as a model of what it is that we can have for our lives.


Written by C.C. Sands

October 6, 2011

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