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Before You Commit…

Sometimes I envy the preacher: when couples come to him, they’re in LOVE. When people come to me, it’s not because they’re in love. It’s because they’re in trouble.

[box_dark]I’m a family therapist, and when you’re knocking on my door, it’s because the two of you need to work something out. I love my work, because I get to make a change in people’s lives. Many couples—I would even say MOST couples–can work through their issues, and develop deeper trust, intimacy, and understanding.[/box_light]

But the sad truth is, there are some couples that are just not going to make it. And almost always, the signs were there from the start.

Here are three things you can do at the start of a relationship to make sure that you’re finding the person who is right for you.

Know Yourself—And Be True to That Knowledge

Part of the challenge of dating is that no two people are alike, and every person you date will bring forth different aspects of your personality. You need to know—BEFORE you get involved in a relationship—your moral code, your goals in life, and what you want in a partner. You need to know what you will accept—and what you won’t.

You need to look at your life, and your actions, and your motivations. You need to know who you are.

Understand, I said “You need to know who you are.” Not who you WANT to be, or who you IMAGINE yourself to be, but who you ARE.

If you are a religious man, don’t date the woman who’s never seen the inside of a church. If you are a man who is turned off by overly-religious people, don’t get involved with the beautiful woman who brings a bible to lunch.

The better you understand yourself, the more you will be able to make wise choices, and the better chance you have on long-lasting happiness.

Written by  Matt Morris, a social worker and family therapist.  Click here to read entire article

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