LOVE GOD AND BUILD A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
This must be priority over all other things. It is not possible to know God and not love Him, and it is impossible to love someone else and not love God. Establishing a loving relationship with God will properly equip you with the strength and wisdom to truly love your husband with an unconditional love- an Agape love. Furthermore, the love that you have for God allows you to accept His commands, and grow in understanding of His word. As your relationship with God grows, so will it with your husband as God shows you how to submit to your husband as unto Christ.
LOVE YOURSELF AND HAVE AN INCREASING DESIRE TO BETTER YOURSELF.
The better woman that you become, his inspiration to be better is also increased. He sees you as a suitable helper, a true partner – one who completes him as opposed to competes with him. By focusing on positive change within yourself, your husband will view you as someone to be honored, instead of feeling like you’re trying to change him. Also, it may be necessary to tell him that you are working to make yourself better, so that you can be a better help to him.
BELIEVE IN AND BUILD UP THE MAN THAT HE IS TO BE.
It is vital that you always keep a positive image of who your husband is to be. This takes work on your part, but it’s worth it in the end. There will be moments where it’s easy to see your husband’s weaknesses or areas you feel he needs to grow in, but trust in God to mold and change him. Continue to build him up, encourage him, speak to and treat him like the man that he is to become. Also, be careful not to compare him to anyone else. Ultimately, you want him to be his best self, who God designed him to be – which is more than what you may desire him to be within a moment.
LET YOUR THOUGHTS, WORDS, AND ACTIONS ALWAYS BE POSITIVE OF HIM.
This requires self-discipline on many levels. It has often been said that when we do things, we do them three times: in our mind, in our words, and in our actions. Often, there is much emphasis on guarding what we say or do, because those are external things that others can see. However, our thoughts are internal which only God can see. Don’t allow negative thoughts to build up against what you know is true about your husband – that he is your good and perfect gift from the Lord, and that he is fearfully and wonderfully made. Through prayer, fasting, meditation, and God’s word, tear down the strongholds that have built themselves up in regard to your husband so that your words and actions may always be positive both publicly and privately.
HONOR HIM AS THE PRIEST, PROVIDER, AND PROTECTOR OF YOUR HOME.
To do so requires trust and faith in God at an optimum level. Perhaps this is the area where submission is exercised the most, because it requires a great deal of sacrifice. As the priest of the home, your husband must be respected as the mediator between God and the family. Respect your husband as the one who provides the vision and goals for your family – not just a provider of resources. Understand that God will provide your husband with the vision. Your work is found in his vision. This is not to disregard your goals and dreams. When you sacrifice your personal ambitions, you’ll understand that God has made provisions for your gifts to be used and desires fulfilled in the work that He has given your husband. As the protector of your home, your husband’s fortification addresses anything that may infringe upon the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being of your family. If you feel or see that these components are not present in your husband, pray that God develops these things in him.
PRAY FOR HIM.
Be attentive to your husband’s needs, desires, strengths, and weaknesses in a way that you can prayerfully ask God to address. When you do so, you allow God to use all of His resources to touch the areas of your husband that you’re praying for. Have peace in knowing that you have no power to change anything about your husband, but God gives you the power and authority to pray for him and help him through God’s strength.
PLACE HIM AS YOUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD.
Yes, place him before the children, the household chores, work-related duties, and all the other things that attempt to press their way in front of your husband. Establishing and maintaining this priority is one way of fostering peace, better communication, and productivity within your home and relationship.
Written by NaTash Roach