In the last 3 years, Paul Carrick Brunson (also known as The Modern Day Hitch) has become internationally recognized as one of the most successful matchmakers and relationship coaches.
As a pioneering African-American matchmaker in the world, Paul has served over 400 clients directly and collectively through live events and social media, matched over 3,000 people on dates. Paul is also the star of OWN’s upcoming reality show, Lovetown, USA,
1) Most Playboys I Know Die Lonely
The most sympathetic I have ever felt for a client was when I was approached by a 48-year-old, self-professed “playboy for life.” I’ll never forget the call. He said with a weak voice, “Paul, I’m looking for a companion, but you only have 6 months.” And then he added, I’ve given you that amount of time because that’s the same amount of time the doctors have given me to live and I’d like to share at least one day with true love before I leave earth.” We were not built to do life alone. Don’t wait too long to settle down.
2) Being a Playa is Nothing Compared to Being a Gentleman
Chivalry is not dead, but we’re killin’ it… slowly. In our parents’ day and before, boys were taught early on what it is to be a man, and part of that was knowing how to treat a lady. And if you didn’t learn it at home, you picked it up in the community by observing how men treated women. Now I go out, and men will not hesitate to walk through a door before a woman, let alone actually take the 5 extra seconds to hold it open for her. Brothas, really?? We know better, let’s act like it (especially for the boys coming up… they’ll be what they see)!
3) There is Nothing Sexier Than a Man with a Plan
Yeah, women often profess their love for an ambitious man, but I’ve found that a man with something as simple as a basic life plan (and MEASURABLE strides taken to achieve it) typically wins. I’m not saying to give up on your audacious “Jay-Z take over the world” scheme, but if all you have to show for it over the last 5 years is a studio in your basement, it’s time to move on. Remember that all of your goals need to be S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely).
4) If You Want a 10, Be a 10 First
Self-development is not just for the ladies. We want a woman who’s got her act together (body that’ll give Buffie competition, wittier than Kerry Washington, more nurturing than Florida Evans, and one that could give bedroom lessons to Karrine Stephens). That said, are we willing to take an honest look at ourselves to see where there is room for improvement. Don’t let that male EGO stop you from being the best you can be. Michael Jackson said it best… “start with the man in the mirror.”
5) Get a Mentor in Your Life … ASAP
Having a mentor is highly underrated. I couldn’t have experienced the successes I have (professionally and personally) without the guidance of several mentors. This is the single most effective step anyone can take to self-improve. There are countless studies that point to expedited development through the help of a mentor (and what’s most fascinating about this research is the qualification of the mentor makes a marginal impact on effectiveness -– so having basically anyone dedicated to listening and coaching you, will yield results). If you’re not sure about where to find a mentor, see #10.
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